


Nightmares

by Puddleduck81



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 10:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11781000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puddleduck81/pseuds/Puddleduck81
Summary: Jane and Tasha stay with Patterson to comfort her. Tasha and Patterson realise they have feelings for each other.





	1. Chapter 1

Jane smiled as she looked across the room in the dim, first light of the morning. On the large bed, she saw her two friends: Patterson, dressed in dog patterned pyjamas, was curled up against Tasha, dressed in an old t-shirt and boxers, whose arms were protectively around her. Both were sleeping soundly. Jane thought it was such a beautiful sight, love in action: their bodies fitted perfectly together. An outsider might have thought it weird two co-workers curled up in such an intimate position, but this was different: these co-workers and herself were as close as family. 

Tasha and Jane had been staying with Patterson since her release from hospital following her kidnap and torture by Shepherd, and the revelations that she had been spending all night in the office. Weller had ordered her to take time off or choose agents to watch over her. Patterson hadn’t felt safe in her home, and was becoming increasingly irrational, even tearing up her own apartment in search of bugs. She asked for Tasha and Jane to be assigned to her.

Since arriving at Patterson’s, Jane and Tasha took turns to get up in the night and hold Patterson until her nightmares eased. They slept in the same room as Patterson as she said they made her feel safe, she wouldn’t allow anyone else anywhere near her. They had mattresses alongside Patterson’s bed, but when the nightmares came, the only thing that soothed Patterson were the arms of either Jane or Tasha, and so they inevitably ended up in the spooning position Tasha and Patterson were now in. 

It had been almost a month since her release from, and the subsequent death of Borden, and her nightmares were as strong as ever. Jane knew only too well how awful nightmares were, and how it felt to be imprisoned and tortured. It wasn’t the physical scars that hurt, but the relentless attack on your mind that came without warning. Her nightmares and flashbacks were still with her, several months after her torture by the CIA. 

Jane got up, she and Tasha were taking turns at going to the office early. She got up from her mattress beside the bed, and threw on an over-sized t-shirt and went to make some breakfast and shower. Tasha stirred, she was a really light sleeper. “What time is it Jane?” her sleep-laden voice whispered.

“Just before 6. I’m making breakfast, you want some?” Jane replied.

Tasha gently retrieved her arm from under Patterson and sat up. After looking at Patterson sound asleep she nodded. “Yes please, she seems to be in a decent sleep. I didn’t think she was ever going to stop screaming last night.”

Jane nodded in agreement; last night’s terrors had been some of the worst yet. Patterson had been wide-eyed with terror, screaming and thrashing about, she hadn’t known where she was, she was convinced Borden was sticking needles in her. It had taken Jane and Tasha over an hour to quieten her and then she lay shaking and whimpering in Tasha’s arms for another couple of hours.

Jane hurriedly made a big pot of coffee and poured it out into two mugs – strong and black as Tasha and she both took it. She heated some croissants in the oven and put them out on the table as Tasha emerged similarly dressed in an over-sized t-shirt, with her hair scraped high on her head in a messy pony-tail. She smiled as the aroma of freshly brewed strong coffee hit her nostrils. “Jane, you’re the best! You made a mean coffee!” she smiled at her friend and sat down to scoff the food in front of her. She was starving!

Jane and Tasha ate and chatted about so many things, not just work, other trivial things too. Jane had to admit that after having lived by herself in the safe house for so long, she was really relishing living with both Tasha and Patterson. It made her feel so happy and loved. She wished the circumstances that had led to this arrangement were different, but she was a firm believer in making the best out of every situation. 

Tasha too was enjoying her current living arrangements. She too had lived by herself for a long time, had grown to depend on only herself and become accustomed to being alone. She was also lapping up the feeling of being part of a family, being loved and needed. She hadn’t felt that before. 

Jane left for work all too soon, and Tasha got herself ready so they could go in when Patterson was up. Weller had ordered Patterson not to be in at the crack of dawn, but to sleep as much as she needed and that either Tasha or Jane would bring her in when she woke up. 

Patterson emerged around 9 am, she looked so tired and was clearly not well enough to be working, but Tasha didn’t bother trying to stop her from getting herself ready for work.

“Morning miss sleepyhead!” Tasha said smiling warmly and taking a cup of tea made exactly how Patterson liked it over to her, and put a couple of croissants in the oven to heat up.

“Hey Tash, sorry I slept in.” Patterson replied, her face looking drawn and worried as she sat down at the kitchen table.

Tasha went over and crouched by her seat. She placed her thumb under Patterson’s chin and tilted her head up so they were eye to eye. Tasha couldn’t help but be dazzled by Patterson’s stunningly blue eyes. “Patterson,” she spoke softly, “You don’t need to be apologising for sleeping in. A) it’s your house, B) its not that late, and most importantly, C) you’re recovering from being kidnapped, shot and tortured. I think you’re allowed to have some sleep-ins!” she added gently.

Patterson blinked. Looking into Tasha’s eyes, she saw only warmth, and concern. Her heart swelled. She was so thankful for Tasha and Jane’s presence in her house. They had rescued her and they made her feel safe. She was finally able to start to relax in her house and believe she wasn’t being watched. She was also allowing herself to grieve finally for David and to a certain extent for Borden too. The deceit she felt from his betrayal, and the guilt she felt from inadvertently giving Sandstorm information about the team, was what was really messing her up. Through Tasha and Jane’s constant reassurances, she was finally beginning to believe it wasn’t her fault.

“Thank you Tasha, I’m so grateful to you and Jane for babysitting me like this, I don’t think I could get through this without you. I love you guys, you know that, don’t you?” she asked.

“Come here, you are more than welcome. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Tasha said enveloping Patterson in a hug; and she meant it. This level of affection was a relatively new experience for Tasha, sure she had a close bond with Reade and thought nothing of hugging him, but this was a whole new level – actively providing love, comfort and reassurance. 

Patterson sighed, as she enjoyed the sensation of Tasha’s hug. She knew Tasha and Jane would fight tooth and nail to keep her safe and would kill anyone who tried to harm her. They would lay down their lives for her, and she knew that she would do the same for them. She may not be as field trained and lethal as they were, but they were her family. She loved them and she would do anything for them.

Patterson watched Tasha busy in the kitchen. She was finding herself increasingly drawn to the feisty Latina that was currently trying to make her breakfast. Patterson suddenly realised that she might be getting a crush on Tasha! Tasha always laughed at her jokes, she got all her ‘nerdy’ references and would share a knowing smile with her-like they had their own private joke; she seemed to enjoy genuinely hearing how she cracked tattoos (unlike Weller who just wanted ‘the short answer Patterson’) and recently she had seen Tasha looking at her with such tenderness and something she thought was possibly admiration- like the recent case with Rich dotcom when she’d made the jokes about the coin or…

Patterson’s thoughts were interrupted by a plate being placed on the counter in front of her. She ate the croissants Tasha brought her and laughed out loud. 

“What’s so funny Patterson?” Tasha asked looking up from the laptop. 

“You don’t cook much, do you?” Patterson asked

“Not breakfast normally, no. I normally just grab something on the way in. Why, what’s wrong?” she asked, worried she’d spoiled Patterson’s breakfast.

“You’ve managed to burn the croissants and not melt the butter at the same time, tastes great though. Croissants a la Tasha. Love it!” she teased.

Tasha jokingly threw a napkin at her. “I’m glad to see you smile!” she smiled back.

“Tasha, will you ask Weller to let me out in the field again, I need to be there when we take Sandstorm down.” Patterson asked pleadingly.

Tasha looked at Patterson. She would have been exactly the same, she didn’t do well with being cooped up either and longed to be in the field, or at the very least in SIOC, but she knew Patterson needed some sort of rest. “Patterson,” she said quietly, “You know there’s nothing I can say that’ll make Weller change his mind. You got shot less than 4 weeks ago, you were tortured and almost killed by your boyfriend who turns out to be a terrorist who later blew himself up. Less than a year ago your ex-boyfriend was murdered because of the same group. It’s too much, even for you!” she added.

“Will you at least try?” Patterson begged, gazing right into Tasha’s eyes. Tasha couldn’t resist those beautiful sky-blue eyes that were glistening with tears. She hugged Patterson and quietly whispered, “Fine, I’ll ask him. I’ll do what I can to help you.”

Patterson pulled away from Tasha’s hug and smiled then planted a soft kiss on Tasha’s cheek. “Thank you Tasha. Thank you so much.” 

Tasha froze. Patterson had kissed her. ‘Ok, pull yourself together’ she told herself, ‘it was just a friendly peck on the cheek and it’s Patterson.’ Why on earth had Patterson just given her butterflies?!

Patterson cheered up after Tasha promised to help her and chatted away happily as Tasha drove them to the office. Tasha was still silently stunned by how her body had just reacted to a little kiss from Patterson. She was so confused, she hadn’t thought of Patterson in that way before. Sure, she loved her, she was awesome, so smart and funny and…beautiful. ‘Holy crap’, Tasha thought, ‘I’m getting a crush on Patterson. I’m supposed to be taking care of her, not lusting after her!’ she told herself.


	2. Chapter 2

An hour later and Tasha and Patterson had arrived at the office. “Jane, you’re still here!” Patterson squealed, launching herself at Jane, hugging her tight as she found her in her lab. She had launched herself at Jane with such force, Jane stumbled backwards. Tasha couldn’t help but giggle.

“Someone is pleased to see you!” Tasha laughed.

“I got that! Patterson, how come you’re so pleased to see me?” Jane asked puzzled.

“Tasha’s going to help me come back into the field. Isn’t that great?” Patterson babbled.

Jane looked at Tasha who merely shrugged and nodded with a resigned look. “Ummm…sure!” Jane replied. “Tasha, can I borrow you a minute?” Jane asked.

Tasha sprang to her feet and followed Jane out the door. “What on earth are you thinking Tasha? There’s no way Weller is going to let her back in the field. She hasn’t even talked to Dr Sun yet!” Jane questioned.

“Relax Jane, I said I’d speak to Weller for her, that’s all. She was so sad today and she’s so frustrated at having her hands tied behind her back. You and me both get frustrated at not being able to do our jobs properly and you know we would be doing exactly the same thing.” Tasha responded

“I know, but Patterson’s been through so much, first David, then getting kidnapped by that senator’s brother, and now being kidnapped by her boyfriend who turned out to be a terrorist. It’s a lot!” Jane continued sounding unconvinced.

“No more than you were dealing with waking up naked, in a bag, in the middle of Times Square, covered in tattoos and total amnesia. If my memory serves me correctly, you were in the field the next day!” Tasha retorted triumphantly.

“That’s different…” Jane started.

“How is it different?” Tasha argued.

“I’m an ex-Navy seal. This is Patterson, she’s not a field agent like us. Besides we need her brains here.” Jane argued.

“And if we force her to stay in the lab, she’s going to get more and more frustrated, she won’t rest and she won’t get better.” Tasha replied, “In fact I reckon she would quit, or worse, break orders and take herself out into the field to follow a lead – that didn’t work so well last time she did that did it? We’re an agent down at the moment too with Reade off. All I’m saying is let me talk to Weller. Maybe Patterson could come and run surveillance from a field van or something.” Tasha continued.

“Fine. But let me talk to him too – believe it or not he does listen to me.” Jane agreed.

A few minutes later, Jane and Tasha came back into Patterson’s lab. “Hey Patterson, how about you cook us something nice for dinner tonight. Maybe we could invite Weller over and we’ll speak to him about the field then? You know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!”

“Sure, why not?” Patterson relied brightly.

Some hours later, Jane, Tasha and Patterson were cooking in Patterson’s apartment and Weller’s arrival was heralded by a hammering on the door. Patterson’s stomach lurched. She suddenly felt really nervous and self-doubt began to creep in. She took a deep breath as she felt Jane and Tasha both place a hand on her shoulders and give them a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t worry, as soon as he smells your ribs, and sees the Pennsylvanian beer, he’ll be butter in your hands!” Tasha laughed as she saw the worried expression on Patterson’s face. Jane agreed.

Patterson opened the door, and all at once, her worry faded as Weller greeted her with flowers, bourbon and a hug. “Hey Patterson, thought you might like these.” He said gruffly. “I believe we have something to discuss…hey, are they your sticky ribs I can smell? Are you trying to bribe me?” he asked, a hint of humour in his voice. 

Patterson smiled, “Thanks Weller, these are great, and yes I am. Trying to bribe you that is. Tasha, can you grab me a vase from the cupboard please.” 

Weller followed Patterson into the kitchen and listened to her plead and justify exactly why she should be allowed back in the field. Weller then outlined his conditions – namely, that she continued to arrive and leave with Tasha and Jane, they continued to live with her, she finished the rest of this week in the lab, and she had a daily session with Dr Sun. Patterson wasn’t keen on the last condition, about seeing Dr Sun, but reluctantly agreed: she knew it was the only way she was going to be allowed to come back properly.

Finally, dinner was served and Weller told Jane and Tasha his conditions for Patterson's return to work. Patterson beamed at them, mouthing thank you to them. Jane and Tasha smiled back, they saw how happy it made Patterson, and she really was an asset to the team. Tasha also couldn’t help but be delighted Patterson wanted them to stay with her, she really was developing a crush. How on earth was she supposed to act normally if she had to share a bed with her? 

That night, after several bourbons with Weller, the women settled for sleep. Patterson dropped off quickly, Tasha and Jane suspected the liquor was interacting with some of her medicines from the hospital. Tasha lay on the mattress listening to Patterson’s breathing, trying to make sense of her new-found realisation of her feelings for Patterson. About 2am Tasha and Jane were woken by the now familiar screaming and shouting of Patterson in the midst of a nightmare. Tasha fought her instinct to get up and hold her, she let Jane get up and climb into bed with Patterson, and take her into her arms until the screaming stopped; and Patterson realised where she was, and that she was safe. Tasha listened to Jane’s calm voice, reassuring Patterson, and Patterson’s sobbing lessened. Tasha looked up and saw Jane cradling Patterson, gently rocking her, trying to get her back to sleep. To Tasha’s surprise, Patterson spoke: “Jane, where’s Tasha? I want Tasha here too, I need to see her, I need to know she’s safe.”

“Sssh, Patterson,” Jane said, stoking Patterson’s hair, “She’s right down there, she’s sleeping, she’s fine.”

“Jane, please wake her up, I want her next to me too.” Patterson begged, sobbing a little more. 

Tasha’s heart was pounding, she couldn’t bear to hear Patterson so distressed. She was going to have to suck up her feelings and go to her. Tasha stood up and looked at Jane who was looking a bit bewildered with Patterson’s face buried into her chest, snivelling into her t-shirt. Softly Tasha spoke, placing a hand on Patterson’s back. “It’s ok Patterson, I’m here. Move over, I’ll get in too.”

Tasha and Jane could both feel Patterson relax as Tasha spoke, Jane looked from Patterson to Tasha and shrugged. Patterson turned away from snivelling on Jane, and flung her arms around Tasha and clung to her for dear life. Tasha looked confusedly at Jane. Jane shrugged again and smiled. “Just as well you have a superking bed Patterson!” she laughed.

Tasha too, decided that humour was the best way to deal with how awkward she was feeling, “You know Patterson, this is probably some guy’s fantasy right now. Three scantily- clad, phenomenal women cuddling in a bed!” she joked. Jane laughed at this comment before turning over and laying down. Patterson followed suite and pulled Tasha down with her. Tasha tried to turn so she wasn’t face to face with Patterson, but Patterson just cuddled into her chest even more and hooked one of her legs between Tasha’s, one of her arms pressed against Tasha’s chest. “Thank you Tasha.” She mumbled into Tasha’s chest. Tasha just blinked, she was too busy trying to ignore the intimacy of the position. Jane had spooned into the back of Patterson so all three women were attached and Patterson and Jane quickly fell back asleep. Tasha lay awake, her brain way too confused and wired to sleep. It was going to be a long night!


	3. Chapter 3

The next day was Friday. Tasha didn’t think she had slept since climbing into bed with Jane and Patterson. She felt rough and a little sick. Still, at least she had work to go to today, it was her day to leave first for the office, Jane would stay home with Patterson. Slowly, and with as little movement as possible, Tasha tried to extract her limbs from Patterson, who was well and truly wrapped around her. Jane awoke and had to stifle a giggle as she saw Tasha’s predicament. Tasha glared at her and mouthed ‘shut up!’ at Jane. Patterson was oblivious to it all. Finally, Tasha was free and crept to the bathroom with her clothes. Jane had opted to stay in bed with Patterson. They had drunk quite a lot of bourbon with Weller last night…

As Tasha sat at the table drinking her coffee, she tried to convince herself once again that her feelings for Patterson hadn’t changed, she was her friend and that was it. She loved her as family. That was all. If that was true though, why the hell did she feel like a 16-year-old falling in love?! Her stomach growled but she knew thought if she ate anything she’d be sick. This was ridiculous! She told herself.

Forty minutes later and she was in the office, sitting at the briefing table with Weller  
“Zapata, did you hear me?” Weller barked.

“Sorry boss, I just…” Tasha began

“Where’s your head at today Zapata? We need to go and take down this group. Are you up for this or not?” Weller asked. 

“I’m fine Weller. Sorry. It won’t happen again.” Tasha confirmed, kicking herself for getting distracted. She had been wondering if Patterson was up and if Jane had made her tea properly. She was quite particular. ‘Pull yourself together woman!’ she told herself again as she followed Weller to get geared up.

Just then, Patterson walked in with Jane and gave Tasha a dazzling smile. “What’d we miss?” she asked.

Weller replied – “your team said you’ve had a hit on one of your tattoo databases.”

“On it boss!” Patterson replied and bounded into her lab. Tasha couldn’t help but smile at the blonde’s boundless enthusiasm and her cheerfulness despite the horrific things that had happened to her recently.

It was a massive case. Patterson excitedly explained that it was a communication intercepted from a near mythical hacker who was in the city. Weller, Jane and Tasha went to grab the hacker and whatever he was stealing. The hacker was killed, as were several other people who tried to grab the package, but eventually the team brought the package back to Patterson’s lab: it was a Rubik’s cube.

Weller had ranted about the point of a child’s toy, at which Patterson had indignantly protested that it wasn’t a child’s toy, plenty of adults used them. Patterson noticed Tasha’s glance at her, those beautiful smouldering dark eyes had the hint of a sparkle in them as she shared a smile with her. Tasha had such a beautiful smile, Patterson thought, it lit up her entire face. She wished she saw it more. Patterson brought herself back to reality and explained that the cube was a code which pointed to a scavenger hunt being held in the city to win a massive file of top secret data. Weller quickly decided (much to Patterson’s dismay) that he and Jane would go undercover on the scavenger hunt. Patterson had protested that she should go accompanied by Tasha, who was second only to her in coding and hacking knowledge, but Weller ordered them to stay on comms. Patterson felt dejected, she loved puzzles and would have relished the opportunity for a little undercover work with Tasha, and besides, Weller just didn’t have the right puzzle-solving prowess. 

Conscious that Weller was losing patience with Patterson, Tasha managed to convince Patterson that they would be able to help Weller and Jane best from the lab. Patterson reluctantly agreed, placated by the knowledge that Tasha would be working closely with her in the lab.

Tasha and Patterson worked seamlessly in the lab. They found themselves completing each other’s thoughts and sentences, each overawed by the other’s intelligence and beauty. “Hey, Tasha, you’re really good at this stuff. Obviously not quite me yet, but you’re second to me!” Patterson smiled, her hand lingering on Tasha’s forearm, she couldn’t resist the physical contact with her.

Tasha smiled back, she didn’t speak, as at that moment her arm felt like it was burning from Patterson’s touch and she was overjoyed at Patterson’s compliment.

Patterson blushed as she realised she’d had her hand on Tasha’s arm a little too long and rushed back to analysing the data Weller and Jane had given her. Dammit, Patterson thought, she really did have feelings for Tasha.

That night, the team went out for drinks at the bar. Jane and Weller were next to each other, it was obvious something was going on between them. "Tasha, help me carry this next round." Patterson ordered, pulling Tasha to her feet as she stood up to go to the bar. Tasha looked confused at the sudden movement.

“Patterson, what are you doing?” Tasha asked rubbing at her wrist.

“Giving Weller and Jane some space. Haven’t you felt the vibes they’re giving off and those looks they’re giving each other?! How many drinks have you had?” Patterson whispered.

Tasha snorted with laughter as she looked over at Weller and Jane, their heads were turned to face each other, barely apart. “Oh, yeah, they’re finally gonna get it together!” Tasha laughed.

“SSSHHH!!” Patterson scolded, slapping Tasha’s arm playfully. Tasha looked up and locked eyes with Patterson, there was laughter and …something else there between them. Tasha and Patterson both saw and felt it as they held each other’s gaze a lot longer than was necessary.

Just then, Patterson’s phone went off. She pulled it out and saw a message from her team- it was another tattoo and it was urgent. “Aww man, not tonight!” Patterson exclaimed exasperated.

“What?” Tasha asked, “Can’t it wait until the morning?” she asked pretend pouting – she was enjoying the closeness and the moment she had just shared with Patterson and didn’t want it to end.

“No, we have to go tell Weller and Jane, I think we have to do this right now.” Patterson replied, similarly disappointed, she was sure she and Tasha had something between them. That look they had just shared…


	4. Chapter 4

After re-joining Weller and Jane, Patterson explained what had happened and the team went back to her lab, the alcohol seemed to wear off very quickly and by the time they reached the lab, they felt sober. It quickly became apparent, an undercover mission to jail was needed. Jane volunteered but was shot down as she was too recognisable. Tasha knew it had to be her, and she was definitely up for it.

“Put me in there.” Tasha said simply.

Patterson looked totally aghast, her mouth dropped open. “Tasha, you can’t go, it’s a jail!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, and? I’m a trained FBI field agent, I’ll be fine. We can’t miss this opportunity.” Tasha added stony-faced, she couldn’t face looking at Patterson, who was standing right next to her, as she could tell from her voice she was horrified and afraid for her. 

Patterson was trying to regain her composure. She realised she had responded much more vehemently and with horror to Tasha volunteering for a dangerous mission, than she would have responded to any other agent. But then she was beginning to realise, Tasha wasn’t just any other agent…Patterson realised then that she and Tasha were almost always next to each other in her lab or office; she didn’t think it was a conscious thing, they were just drawn to each other. The warmth she felt when Tasha was near, and when she smiled. She began to run through the times they had shared smiles and looks with just each other, and oh great, she realised she definitely had a crush on Tasha at the very least. Though if it was a crush, would she really be this worried for her safety?

“Patterson!” Boomed Weller’s voice, “Did you hear me? We need a rock-solid back story for Tasha. No one can know her arrest isn’t for real except us.”

“Sure, on it. I still don’t think this is the best…” Patterson began, then blushed as Weller angrily interrupted her.

“Patterson, we are doing this. It’s the only way!” Weller ordered.

Tasha still refused to look at Patterson. She couldn’t bear to see those beautiful blue eyes that she knew would now be full of fear and tears. Instead Tasha walked silently out of the lab to her station. She’d upset Patterson, she knew that and hated herself for it, but Weller was right, she was the only one who could do this mission. She was more confused than ever about whatever was going on between her and Patterson; Patterson had seemed so protective of her, more so than anyone else, and she was now sure she had developed a crush on Patterson, but she couldn’t let whatever it was interfere with the mission. She would have to deal with this when she was back.

Patterson was silently crying in her lab as she created the backstory and generated a paper trail for Tasha’s imminent arrest and incarceration. She was so scared for her. She had just lost two people she loved: she didn’t think she could cope with losing another one. Why did it have to be Tasha going out? Why did it have to be Tasha she had developed feelings for? Why did she keep falling for totally inappropriate people she asked her self angrily?

Jane suddenly appeared in her lab. Patterson jumped up and tried to dry her eyes, but Jane had already seen the tears. “Hey Patterson, don’t mind Weller, you know he’s not mad at you. He only knows one level of communication – yelling!” Jane said smiling.

Patterson hung her head and started to cry more. “Patterson, what’s wrong? Are you ok? Do you feel bad? I can take you home.” Jane asked concerned.

Patterson managed to say between sniffs, “No, I feel fine. I just…I’m just worried about Tasha. I don’t want her to go…it’s too dangerous. I don’t think I can cope with someone else I love being killed.” She sobbed.

Jane walked over and hugged her. “I know it’s dangerous but Tasha is a pocket ninja. She can take care of herself. She may be rubbish at the emotional stuff, but she’s one of the best fighters I’ve met.” Jane tried to reassure her.

“But I want her here with me! She means so much to me, she makes me feel safe Jane, I’m scared.” Patterson wailed.

Jane hugged her again, slightly concerned about the level of worry Patterson was showing – maybe she’d come back to the office too early she thought. There was something else going on too, but she couldn’t quite place her finger on it. She managed to quiet Patterson and helped her finish Tasha’s story, and soon, without even saying goodbye, Tasha left the office, preparing to get arrested.

The arrest went to plan, and Tasha’s infiltration and information gathering seemed to be going well, although she’d had to instigate a few fights, putting herself at a great deal of risk much to Weller’s disgust. Nothing could prepare her for the level of anger and disgust and …she didn’t know what else she got from Patterson when she explained she’d started the fight over the phone she had smuggled in.

“Tasha, you what? Why would you do that? Why would you try and get yourself killed? You’re supposed to be smart, but that’s about the most dumb-assed thing I’ve ever heard. What’s wrong with you Tasha? Why would you do that to me?” Patterson yelled down the phone leading to raised eyebrows from Weller and Jane. Patterson was even more angry when she explained she had to break out Devon, the prisoner they were trying to extract info from.

Eventually, a plan was hatched and Patterson got one of her wishes – Weller sent her out on field surveillance and ops with Jane to help Tasha’s escape. Patterson’s heart was in her mouth the whole time, she couldn’t watch the screens as she saw Tasha being attacked and approach the electric fence that she wasn’t convinced Jane had managed to turn off. She longed to be there protecting her, keeping her safe. Miraculously Tasha and Devon escaped, and left in the getaway car. 

Then things went wrong, Devon didn’t take them to the arranged meeting place. She took them to a warehouse where her Sandstorm boyfriend recognised Tasha as FBI. He knocked Tasha out and when Tasha awoke, she was strapped to a chair and a massive bomb. 

She couldn’t stop herself from crying. Faced with almost certain death, she realised she had totally fallen for Patterson. Patterson had always made her feel loved, she’d always cared for her, listened to her and been there for her. Patterson understood that she didn’t find talking easy and never pushed her more than was necessary. Patterson really got her. She didn’t know how or when exactly she had fallen for her, but right then, all she wanted was to be in Patterson’s arms, listening to her voice, her laugh. Tasha did something she hadn’t done in a long time, losing her partner had ruined her faith in God, but right now she started to pray the Our Father. Patterson would be so mad at her for ending up getting herself killed, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. 

Patterson too was beside herself, Tasha, her beloved Tasha, had been taken by Parker, she was convinced they would kill her. She had to find her fast…she managed to track down a potential location and Weller and Jane raced off to try and save her…if she was even there. Patterson buried her head in her hands and wept. She had never been this afraid for anyone in her life. She needed to tell Tasha everything.

Patterson’s location had been correct, and Weller narrowly managed to free Tasha from the bomb, and took Parker and Devon prisoner. Tasha crawled into the back seat of the SUV and cried. She couldn’t believe she had survived that. She just wanted Patterson. Exhausted, battered, bruised, and totally overcome with emotion, she fell asleep in the back of the SUV as they returned to the office.


	5. Chapter 5

“Tash! You’re back! What…what happened to your face?” Patterson exclaimed as she threw her arms around Tasha, catching sight of her purple, swollen jaw and eye. As she saw it, Patterson stepped back slightly and her fingers instinctively went to touch Tasha’s check gently as worry about Tasha’s injury kicked in.

“What the fuck Patterson!? Leave me alone!” Tasha yelled pushing Patterson away and instantly regretting it as she saw her beautiful friend’s eyes filling with tears as she recoiled from Tasha’s push. 

Weller looked at Jane; Jane ran over and putting an arm around a now silently crying and utterly dejected looking Patterson, looked at Tasha and asked, “Tasha, what’s wrong? Patterson was only concerned.” Jane looked at Tasha, searching her face for answers. Tasha was now scanning the floor, refusing to look up. Her shoulders were hunched over and her whole body language said ‘stay away’ as she muttered “Sorry Patterson” and fled to the women’s bathroom, locking the door behind her. 

What the hell had happened? Jane wondered. Tasha was never even remotely snappy with Patterson, everyone else yes, but she had never heard Tasha as much as raise her voice to Patterson, she seemed to adore Patterson and the little sideways looks and glances she always gave Patterson were always full of tenderness and seemed as if she was sharing some kind of private joke or moment with her. What the hell could have happened to wind Tasha up to the point where she not only yelled at Patterson, but swore at her and shoved her away quite hard? 

Jane sat Patterson down with a mug of tea, and reassured her she would get to the bottom of what had just happened. She satisfied herself that Patterson was ok and then went to knock gently on the bathroom door. “Tasha, hey, what’s happened? Don’t tell me nothing because I know that’s a lie. You’re not ok, so talk to me.” Jane calmly stated. She put her ear to the door, she was sure she could hear crying. She’d never heard Tasha cry, not really. She’d heard her scream when they had been tortured in Turkey with the cattle prod, but this sounded like proper, heart-felt sobbing. Jane debated calling Weller, or Reade for help, they were really close she thought, but then thought again – they were men, not the most astute at picking up feelings, and she knew Tasha would be mortified if she told Weller or Reade that she had been crying.

“Tasha, come on, please. Let me in. I can’t deal with you and Patterson crying! If Patterson hurt your face, she didn’t mean to, you know that there isn’t a malicious bone in her body, and I know how much you love Patterson, and I’ve never even heard you speak crossly to her. You just yelled at her, swore at her and shoved her pretty hard. She was just pleased to see you back, and worried about that bruise. What the hell is happening Tasha? Let me help!” Jane pleaded.

Tasha seemed to sob more. Jane was sure she was sitting against the bathroom door now. She could hear choked-up breaths as Tasha said, “Tell Patterson I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I’d never hurt her on purpose, I’d never hurt her or upset her, I’m not angry with her, I’m angry with me. Please tell her I’m sorry.” Tasha sobbed quietly.

“No Tasha, you need to do that. Come out and we can go talk to her. Or just let me in, tell me what’s going on. I can help.” Jane said.

“No, you can’t Jane, no one can. I’ve messed up, and I’ve just hurt the one person I love more than anything, I’ve just hurt Patterson Jane, I can’t stay here. Look what I’ve done!” She continued to cry. In fact, thought Jane, she sounded absolutely beside herself. Something was very wrong.

Gently, but firmly Jane tried to reason with Tasha once again. “Tasha, you’re devastated. I’ve never seen or heard you like this before, I’m really worried about you. If you don’t open this door in the next minute, I will kick this door down and come in and get you.”

Tasha sobbed again. She knew Jane could, and would do as she had just said, and she couldn’t be responsible for a broken door as well as Patterson’s badly broken feelings she had just caused. Slowly, she stood up, inhaled deeply trying to compose herself, and undid the bathroom door. She sat on the toilet seat and said, “Jane, you can come in now, but lock the door behind you. I don’t want Patterson to see me like this.”

Jane opened the door, stepped inside and locked the door behind her. She took one look at Tasha’s red, eyes and face that was swollen from crying as well as from taking a beating and wrapped her in a hug. “Tasha, what’s happened. Are you in pain?” Tasha started to cry harder again, crying all over Jane’s t-shirt, soaking it through. “Ssh Tasha, whatever it is, we can deal with it, just tell me and I can help.” Jane soothed, desperately trying to reassure her friend. Tasha was the strong one, she just didn’t get all emotional like this, well not in front of people at any rate. Jane’s mind was racing at what could have gone so drastically badly to make Tasha like this.

“So, what’s happened to get you like this Tasha, it must be bad for you to be so distraught.” Jane said, rubbing Tasha’s back gently. Tasha just cried harder.

“I’ve made Patterson cry Jane, I’ve hurt her. She didn’t deserve that. I’m a disgrace.” Tasha sobbed.

“Hey, you’re not a disgrace! No, Patterson didn’t deserve that but I’m sure there’s a reason why you reacted like that. If you tell me, I can talk to Patterson, and you know she’ll understand and forgive you.” Jane said reassuringly, still stroking Tasha’s back.

“I don’t want her forgiveness, I don’t deserve it. She’s too good for me. I don’t deserve her, or you.” Tasha wailed. She was absolutely distraught now, she was on the verge of vomiting from the disgust she currently felt for herself.

Jane was getting quite frightened by the level of distress Tasha was in. She didn’t know how to help her. “Do you want me to call Reade?” Jane asked.

“No, he’s the last person I want! Please don’t tell him, or anyone I’ve been crying.” Tasha begged.

“Ok, but you gotta give me something here Tash. I want to help you, I want to make this better for you, but if you don’t even give me a clue what’s wrong, I can’t help you.” Jane replied and hugged her friend tighter. 

Tasha seemed to calm herself a little and sat back. Her head was still down, eyes on the floor as she almost inaudibly said, “You can’t help me Jane. No-one can, I’ve been stupid and I’ve just made the most amazing, beautiful woman cry. Please help me get out of here.” Tasha pleaded. Adrenaline was pumping through Tasha’s veins- fight or flight was kicking in, and as usual when faced with a difficult emotional problem, Tasha’s body was in flight mode.

Jane tipped Tasha’s head up so she could look her in the eye and in an authoritative, but kind voice simply said, “Tasha, look at me. You need to tell me what’s happening. I promise you this stays between just us. I will help you, even if all I can do is listen, but I’m not going to help you run away from whatever it is. Trust me, that won’t solve anything. All that will do is hurt Patterson even more, she thinks she’s done something to upset you. If you run away without saying anything, that will make her think that’s the case even more. So, talk to me Tasha, now.”

Tasha knew Jane was right, if she left, Patterson would have no choice but to assume whatever had upset her was her fault. She couldn’t hurt Patterson anymore. Tasha took a deep breath and gulped. Her voice barely a whisper she said, “I like Patterson Jane, I like her a lot. It’s totally inappropriate and now not only do I like her, I’ve just hurt her.” Immediately after speaking, Tasha’s eyes went to the floor again.

Jane was confused for a moment. “It’s ok Tasha, I like her a lot too…oh….oooohh. You like her like that!? That makes sense!”

Tasha looked at Jane confused. “What do you mean that makes sense?” she asked.

“The way you and her are, how you’ve always been, since I joined the team in fact. Whenever she says something slightly nerdy that no one else really gets, or one of her jokes, you have this look you give her, and it’s one of the few times we always see you smile. It’s like you can’t help yourself. I thought you two had some private joke, but that makes sense now.” Jane explained before hugging her.

“Wait, what do you mean? I only realised I liked her like that when she kissed me the other day.” Tasha replied.

“Whoa, hang on a minute, she kissed you?” Jane asked smiling.

“Yeah, not like that though, when I promised I’d speak to Weller she kissed me right here.” Tasha indicated a point on her cheek just near her lips. She smiled at the memory.

“Oh Tasha, I thought something awful had happened, well clearly something awful has happened, but I mean I thought something had worse had happened. Tasha, you’ve liked Patterson ever since I joined the team, you just haven’t realised it. I know you won’t believe me, and it won’t make you feel any better right now, but she gives you the same looks. I think she’s secretly mad about you too. She probably doesn’t even realise it. Do you remember when you solved the tattoo that led us to coach Jones? She was stupidly proud of you that day, she couldn’t stop smiling at you. When you solved the tattoo that took us to that jewellery shop where she’d been kidnapped, she was the same then. Whenever you know nerdy stuff, she just smiles at you like crazy. Didn’t you notice how worried she was about you going on this mission – that anger, it wasn’t because she was mad at you, she loves you and was worried about you! Holy crap, you’ve both been mad about each other for years – it’s been right in front of you, of us and you haven’t realised it!” Jane exclaimed.

“Sssh, don’t shout it out. You’re talking rubbish Jane. Patterson doesn’t see me like that, she’s been in love with Borden and David. She dates guys.” Tasha hissed.

“But you’ve always dated guys too. Doesn’t mean anything. You can’t help who you fall in love with. Love is bigger than that. True love is true love” Jane pointed out.

“Ok, but now really isn’t an appropriate time to say or do anything about this. I have to stop these feelings Jane, look what a mess they’ve made me today!”

Jane looked at Tasha and hugged her again. “Ok, I’m not going to say anything and you’re probably right now’s not a good time, but it’s also not good for you to try and stop those feelings, even if you could squash them. It’ll eat away at you.”

“Well I have to do something. I can’t tell her how I feel. I need something to tell her for my outburst earlier.” Tasha whispered.

“What did happen?” Jane asked

“I got thrown against the car bumper. It’s not broken, I’m just badly bruised. It got my ribs too.” Tasha explained, lifting up her shirt to show her purple and black ribs. 

“Ok, well, that’s what you tell Patterson. You tell her it hurts like hell which is true and you’re embarrassed that you got hit. Tell her you weren’t expecting her to touch you and it just caught a really tender patch.” Jane suggested.

Tasha sighed and shrugged, “I guess it’s the best I’m going to come up with. I’m so sorry I lashed out at her Jane. I really do love her more than anything and would die for her. I’m so ashamed with myself I hurt her.” 

“So tell her that too. If it sounds heart-felt she’ll believe you. Now come on out with me. I’m going to put an ice pack on those bruises. That is, if I can get near without you punching me!” Jane added winking to show she was joking.

“Not funny!” Tasha said, but couldn’t stop a smile spreading across her face. She felt better after talking to Jane, but so nervous about going out to speak to Patterson. 

Tasha followed Jane out of the bathroom to Patterson’s lab, where Patterson was sitting looking glum on a chair. She looked up as she heard footsteps approaching. Tasha was looking firmly at the floor. Patterson got up off her chair and walked over to Tasha. She reached out and took Tasha’s hands and gently said, “Tasha, look at me. I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

Tasha couldn’t handle it, this beautiful, gentle creature in front of her was apologising to her. She hadn’t done anything to apologise for. Tasha couldn’t stop the tears from falling as she looked up into Patterson’s eyes. She couldn’t speak as Patterson softly pulled her into a warm embrace, again totally overwhelmed by her emotions. Patterson stroked the back of Tasha’s dark, silky hair as she held her tight.

“What’s happened Tasha? Whatever it is, you’re ok. I’m going to take care of you.” Patterson whispered into Tasha’s ear as she held her. Tasha was sobbing whole-heartedly again now. Jane stopped her approach towards them as she saw Patterson holding Tasha so tenderly. Jane smiled to herself. Everything was going to be ok. It really was. 

Jane coughed to announce her arrival. Patterson released her and looked at Jane. “Tasha, come over here, I’ve got some ice packs for you, let’s try and stop some of the swelling.” Jane smiled and Tasha obediently went to sit by her. Patterson followed her.

“Jane, let me help you, I’ll do her face.” Patterson said softly. She gently wiped away Tasha’s tears with the pads of her thumbs. She touched Tasha’s face as softly as she dared, smiling at Tasha to try and reassure her. Tenderly she put the ice pack to Tasha’s face. Jane was trying to attach another pack round Tasha’s ribs.

Tasha regained her voice, and managed to choke out a few words. “Patterson, I’m so so sorry for earlier. I should never have spoken to you like that and I should never have pushed you. I’m so disgusted and ashamed with myself. You are the gentlest, kind, wonderful human being I’ve ever met, and I’ve hurt you. I’m truly sorry. I…” 

Tasha was silenced as Patterson placed a finger on Tasha’s lips. “Tasha, you don’t have to apologise. I shouldn’t have rushed at you like that. It must’ve hurt you. Your reaction was just an instinct, I know it wasn’t aimed at me. You’ve clearly taken a beating today so you’re probably still in fight or flight mode, all that adrenaline. I should have seen it. Please don’t feel bad, I’m fine, really I am.” Patterson reassured Tasha, smiling.

Tasha hung her head in shame again. Oh God, Patterson was just so damn beautiful, and kind and…perfect.” The tears fell silently again and Patterson just sat and held her hand. Jane, feeling slightly awkward and like she was intruding on a private moment, stood up. Tasha looked at her. “Stay Jane, I’m sorry you had to see me like this too.” Tasha whimpered.

“Come here you big softie!” Jane said putting an arm around Tasha. Right then Tasha felt so humble, so loved. She’d been a bitch and still here these two amazing women were, showing her nothing but love and affection. She felt like the luckiest woman alive right then.


	6. Chapter 6

That night, all three women went back to Patterson’s apartment and slept in Patterson’s bed, they felt intricately linked and though Jane felt awkward, knowing how Tasha felt about Patterson, and strongly felt Patterson loved Tasha too, even if she didn’t know it yet, but Tasha asked her to stay with them. Tasha laid in the middle, Patterson had delicately wrapped herself around her, and Jane spooned against Tasha’s back. Tasha felt like she was in a cocoon. She felt a bit guilty: they were supposed to be making Patterson feel safe after all, but that night, they all slept deeply. It was the first night Patterson hadn’t woken with nightmares.

The next day was Sunday, a rare day off. “Hey lovely lady! That looks really painful.” Patterson said sleepily, as she awoke the next morning, gently reaching out to touch Tasha’s swollen face. Then she reached down and lifted up Tasha’s t-shirt and gasped in horror when she saw the mass of black and purple bruising on Tasha’s ribs. “I’m getting Jane and some ice!” Patterson declared, climbing out of bed and rushing to the kitchen.

Tasha lay there in a state of stunned contentment. Patterson had slid her hands under her t-shirt and lifted it up. She could feel tingling where Patterson’s hands had glided over her skin on her ribcage. ‘Stop it now!’ She scolded herself. ‘I gotta stop thinking like this.’ Tasha groaned inwardly. Patterson quickly returned with Jane in tow.

“Ouch!” said Jane, wincing as she saw the extent of Tasha’s swollen face and eye. “Put this on” she ordered, handing her an ice pack. 

“That’s not the worst of it, look at this!” Patterson exclaimed, reaching for the hem of Tasha’s t-shirt and lifting it all the way up. Patterson seemed to have forgotten the concept of personal space. “Look at this mess!” Patterson repeated, looking to Jane.

Jane was smiling to herself as she knew how awkward Tasha would be feeling right now. She debated reminding Patterson about personal space, then changed her mind. She handed Tasha the other ice pack and went to get the strongest painkillers she could find. Patterson sat on the bed next to Tasha, holding her free hand.

“Patterson, I’m ok, really I am. I’ve had much worse than this you know!” Tasha laughed.

“Tasha, You’re not ok. Maybe we should go to the hospital?” Patterson replied, clearly concerned.

“Patterson, the doctors cleared me yesterday. They x-rayed me and there’s nothing broken, it’s just bruises. If I rest today I’m sure I’ll be fine later.” She said in her most reassuring voice. 

Patterson didn’t look convinced but knowing she wouldn’t change Tasha’s mind spoke gently, “Well, if you’re sure, then we can stay in bed and play a board game. I’ll keep you company. Maybe Jane will play too?” Patterson asked, looking at Jane. Tasha shot Jane a panicked – please stay look too. 

“Ok, I’ll stay until lunch, but then Weller wants me to run an errand for him.” Jane answered.

“Run an errand? Is that what we’re calling dating nowadays?” Tasha asked sarcastically.

“I could of course just leave now!” Jane replied giving Tasha a mock offended look. 

“Sorry Jane, I’m sure the errand is very important.” Tasha apologised, still smiling.

Patterson was in her element. She was positively radiating happiness as she and her two best friends sat on her bed playing Hero Quest and after managing to find a VCR, Nightmare. Patterson was so happy, for the first time since all that Borden crap, she was totally relaxed, and felt like her. She looked at Tasha and Jane who were also both smiling. Jane was astounded by the whole concept of hour long plus board games. She couldn’t remember anything about games from her childhood, she was mesmerised. Tasha, remembered games, though her dysfunctional upbringing had meant she hadn’t played many games either. Patterson knew Tasha didn’t particularly enjoy games, but she knew she humoured her, and played with her for her sake. At that thought, Patterson’s heart swelled. Tasha was here, playing a game she didn’t really want to play, whilst in pain, just because she knew it would make Patterson happy. There weren’t many people that would willingly do that Patterson thought. Then she thought, Tasha really is special to me.

The women were having such a good time, they didn’t realise what the time was and were startled by a pounding on the door. Patterson leapt up, sudden unexpected loud noises still startled her. Tasha instinctively threw herself in front of Patterson to protect her, scattering board game pieces to the ground, and Jane, leapt of the bed, adopted a fighting stance and went to the door. “Patterson? Tasha? Jane?” they heard Weller’s gruff voice through the pounding, “Are you in there?” 

The women looked at each other before Jane opened the door. “Weller, why are you trying to break down my door?” Patterson yelled, “You almost gave me a heart attack. Why can’t you just knock, or ring the buzzer like a normal person?!” she continued. 

Weller stepped through the door and took in the sight before him. All three women were in baggy revealing t-shirts and panties. On the floor were pieces of what he assumed were board game pieces. Jane was standing in front of him, adrenaline clearly coursing through her veins. A heavily bruised Tasha was sitting in what he assumed was a defensive position in front of Patterson, who was shrieking at him like a banshee.

“Do I even want to know what’s going on here?” he asked, starting to look a little embarrassed. 

Jane rested a hand on his arm. “Kurt, I’m so sorry, we were playing a board game, to try and get Tasha to stay in bed and rest. I lost time, I’m sorry I’m late for our d…errand.” Jane tried to explain. 

Kurt felt the tips of his ears turning pink. Patterson was still glaring at him looking indignant. Tasha had a red flush creeping up her neck, she was looking embarrassed too. Weller cleared his throat before gruffly speaking, “Sorry Patterson, I thought something might’ve happened. I tried calling Jane’s cell but didn’t get a reply.”

“You could’ve still tried knocking the door and not pounding!” Patterson said.

“Tasha, that bruising looks pretty bad. If you’re too sore, Jane can bring Patterson in on Monday and work in the lab with her instead of you.” Weller said matter-of-factly.

Tasha got over her embarrassment at being caught semi-dressed by her boss and sarcastically replied, “Good morning to you Weller. I’m fine, thank you for asking, how are you today?”

Weller apologised for leaping to conclusions, and after a brief whispered conversation with Jane (that Patterson and Tasha strained to hear), busied himself in the kitchen. “Since you ladies are clearly busy with something very important, I’ll fix you some lunch before I run my errand.”

Tasha, Jane and Patterson smiled at each other. “I guess we should get up properly.” Patterson sighed. “You don’t have to Tash, you’re injured. I’ll see to my unexpected visitor, you rest.” She instructed Tasha.

“Patterson, I’m not an invalid and those drugs are working. I’m getting up. If I rest anymore I’ll seize up, and I need to be ready to go in with you on Monday. I’m looking forward to working with you in the lab.” She added smiling. 

Patterson smiled at this admission, “Really Tasha? You wanna work with me? You know I’m a control freak, right?” she asked.

“Sure, but I can handle taking my orders from you!” Tasha laughed, trying not to jar her jaw too much as it really was painful. Patterson and Jane smiled at each other until Weller walked between them carrying soup. 

“Here, made you this.” He said, nodding at the soup in his hands.

“You mean you opened the can and put it in the microwave?” Tasha corrected.

Weller smiled. Tasha couldn’t be feeling too bad he thought, she was quick enough on her retorts.


	7. Chapter 7

Weller and Jane left to do their errand, leaving Patterson and Tasha in the kitchen. “So, Patterson, what’d you want to do for the rest of the day?” Tasha asked warmly.

“I was thinking we could watch some tv, take a nap and maybe talk?” Patterson replied.

At the word talk, Tasha’s heart began to thump in her chest. Did Patterson know how she felt? Had she been that obvious? She gulped louder than she had intended as panic gripped her.

She heard Patterson laugh, “Don’t worry Tasha, I’m not expecting you to talk, I was just hoping you’d listen to me talking. You’re a great listener and I trust you. I feel safe around you and I know you’ll know what to say.”

Tasha smiled and thought ‘phew’ to herself. She walked over to Patterson and hugged her. “Of course I’ll listen to you. Let’s leave the TV for later. I’m all ears.” She said sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to her. Patterson sat down next to her. Closer than Tasha had anticipated, her bare thigh was pressed against Tasha’s bare thigh. It felt so good. Tasha was worried Patterson would be able to read her thoughts. Instead Patterson asked hesitantly, “Tasha, if you think it’s too weird please say no, but do you think you could put your arm around me and let me lean against you? It makes me feel safe.” She looked at Tasha and once again Tasha felt herself getting lost in the ocean of Patterson’s piercing blue eyes. 

She raised her arm and simply said, “Come here.” Patterson ducked her head under Tasha’s arm and leaned against the unbruised side of Tasha’s chest. Tasha was soft and warm, and her arm around her was such a reassuring presence. ‘I could get used to this ‘Patterson thought to herself, before starting to open her heart to Tasha about exactly how she was feeling about Borden, and David, and the team and work. There were tears, a lot of tears, it was still very fresh and raw. Tasha had cried too, she hurt for Patterson. 

At some point Patterson had stopped talking and crying and had fallen asleep against Tasha's chest. At some point following that, Tasha had also fallen asleep. When Jane returned, she found Patterson and Tasha asleep in that position on the sofa. She put a blanket over them and looked at them fondly. These two were made for each other she thought. They are so into each other. It’s beautiful. She briefly considered taking a photo to show Tasha, to remind her of what she had said about Patterson liking her, but felt it was an invasion of privacy. Instead she left them to it, and to avoid making noise in the kitchen, went out and bought takeaway for dinner.

Patterson awoke first. Confused at first about where she was and who she was with. Blinking, and inhaling, she noticed the familiar smell of Tasha, and then realised she was on her sofa. She then realised she had drooled over Tasha’s breast in her sleep. Mortified, she tried to dab at it, she was even more mortified when Tasha awoke and found Patterson apparently rubbing her boob. Patterson leapt back as she realised Tasha was awake. “Tasha, I’m so sorry. I drooled on you when I was asleep, I was trying to dry it!” she squealed in a high-pitched voice.

“Wha…what?” Tasha asked confused. Her head was heavy with sleep, she wasn’t sure if she’d just imagined Patterson stroking her breast or if had really happened.

Jane couldn’t help herself and let out a belly laugh. “Oh my God, you two, that’s hilarious, you’re just adorable.” She laughed, literally swaying from side to side with laughter.

“What?” Patterson asked. “Sometimes I drool when I sleep deeply, and Tasha was just…well…so comfy.” She continued.

Tasha glared at Jane. “Did you buy us dinner?” she asked, noticing the take-out cartons near Jane and trying to change subject.

“Of course, it’s on the counter, you’ll have to heat it up though. I’ve been back an hour and you two were out for the count.” Jane continued laughing.

Patterson seemed to be over her embarrassment and went and heated up the Chinese. She and Tasha ate hungrily. Both were surprised at how long they’d slept. Tasha had enjoyed the sensation of Patterson against her breast, it felt natural. Paterson too had been shocked had how good it felt against Tasha, listening to her heartbeat, feeling her warmth and inhaling her scent. 

Jane, Tasha and Patterson talked for a while, Tasha and Patterson tried to get information from Jane about her errand with Weller, and Jane finally admitted, on pain of death, that it had been a date. Their first proper date. Patterson and Tasha had exchanged knowing looks and when Jane couldn’t take their relentless questioning any longer, declared she was going to bed. 

Tasha and Patterson weren’t far behind her. Although they hadn’t done much, they were both exhausted, talking about emotional issues it seemed was a tiring activity. Jane had allocated herself the mattress near the window and appeared to be sleeping deeply. Tasha started to crawl under the covers of the mattress near the door, but Patterson whispered to her. “Stay with me Tasha, please. Sleep with me?” Tasha wasn’t sure if it was a question or an order but she nodded and climbed into Patterson’s bed. Patterson lifted Tasha’s arm and wrapped it around herself and snuggled up against Tasha. “Good night Tash. Thank you. For everything. You’re amazing. I love you.” 

Tasha’s heart was again racing. Patterson was in her arms. She wanted so badly to hold her tighter than this and kiss her and whisper sweet nothings to her but she couldn’t. it was clear Patterson cared deeply about her, but she was confused. Was she just a friend or was Patterson seeing her as something else? She didn’t know, and at this moment in time, she didn’t actually care. Just then, Tasha heard Jane’s voice as Patterson’s breathing slowed. “Goodnight Tasha, I told you she loved you. Just accept this and drink it up. You’re made for each other.” Jane whispered.

“Goodnight Jane.” Was all Tasha could reply with


	8. Chapter 8

Before they knew it, the alarm was going off to announce Monday’s arrival. Tasha, Jane and Patterson had to have lightning quick showers. They hadn’t all had to get ready for work at the same time before, and hadn’t factored this time into their preparation time. Patterson swore to set the alarm an hour earlier tomorrow. It was now three nights she had slept without a nightmare. Something had just clicked in her head, and all the fear seemed to have gone. She was sure it was something to do with acknowledging her feelings for Tasha.

The three women entered SIOC together and were warmly greeted by Weller and saw Reade on his way to see Dr Sun. Tasha felt a pang of guilt, she’d barely spoken to Reade, her best friend, over the last 10 days, felt even guiltier knowing what Coach Jones had done to him. He looked like the cat who’d had all the cream however. “Looks like your new woman is working out well for you!” Tasha smirked as she walked by Reade before giving him a hug. 

“You look pretty content yourself woman.” He replied. Tasha felt herself blush and was furious with herself for doing so. Now it was Reade’s turn to smirk. Tasha was embarrassed about something. He vowed to make it his mission to find out exactly what has caused Miss Natasha Zapata to blush so furiously. 

Weller summoned everyone into the briefing room. He announced they had received intel from Parker and that he and Jane were heading out into the field to act on it. Tasha was given desk tasks to do before helping Patterson in the lab. 

Suddenly, Tasha and Patterson’s phones started to vibrate. It was an emergency alert to evacuate the building. Tasha ordered her team out and instinctively rushed to Patterson’s lab. She looked with horror at the monitor and saw gunmen had entered the building. Pellington got everyone kitted out in bulletproof vest and weapons before he led a team out to get the gunmen. An icy grip suddenly swept over Tasha. She realised the video feed was a fake and before Tasha and Patterson could do anything to warn people, Shepherd and heavily armed people burst into SIOC and started shooting people. 

Tasha immediately made for the door to go and help, but Patterson grabbed her by the wrist. “Tasha, you can’t do anything now to help them, it’s too late. You know that. All we can do is seal us, and them in and stop them from getting to whatever it is they want.” Patterson shouted looking Tasha in the eye. She saw anger and fear in Tasha’s eyes and knew the Latina desperately wanted to help fight Sandstorm, but she saw something else too, she swore it was affection for her. Tasha stopped trying to pull away and sat next to Patterson, all they could do was watch in horror as Shepherd started murdering people in cold blood until someone eventually gave up the code to release the shutters. Tears fell from Tasha and Patterson’s eyes as they gripped each other’s hands, feeling helpless.

Patterson realised what Shepherd wanted in her lab and started to frantically try to put the computers onto boot mode to delay Shepherd’s access to them.

“Come on Patterson, they’re heading right for us, we have to get to the armoury.” Tasha yelled, dragging Patterson with her. A new terror and sense of urgency seized Tasha, she had to protect Patterson at all costs, she had to get her to safety. The women made it to the armoury and started arming themselves to the teeth when Reade burst in. He’d had the same idea. Suddenly Patterson realised what she could do to stop Shepherd and get a signal to call out: she could fry the servers. Tasha and Reade said they’d buy her time to do that. Patterson grabbed Tasha’s wrist again as she left. Their eyes locked onto each other, and at once both understood exactly what they meant to each other, without needing to speak a work. “Patterson, I need to go!” Tasha said softly and Patterson released her grip. 

As Patterson worked furiously to fry the servers and get a call out to warn the other offices, she heard gunfire. She prayed and prayed that Tasha was safe, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. After making the call, she ran out to help Reade and Tasha. 

As she rounded the corner she heard an anguished yell from both Tasha and Reade, and three quick shots as Reade killed Parker. Then she stopped dead, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Tasha was on the floor, bleeding heavily from a gunshot wound to her neck. Reade was trying to stop the blood. 

“Nooooo! NO NO No!” Patterson screamed. “Tasha, nooo!” was all she could scream as she sank to the floor trying to cradle her before Reade pushed her away telling her not to move her. Just them Weller came in over comms ordering Patterson to call an ambulance and dispatch more teams. 

Tasha knew she was dying, she could see in it Reade and Patterson’s eyes. She was thankful she’d been able to see Patterson one last time, but she still wasn’t safe. With her last breath before blacking out she managed to say to Reade, “Go! You have to protect her. Keep her safe Reade, Protect Patterson.” 

Patterson's eyes were streaming with tears when she got back to Reade. “Reade, is she dead? She can’t be, I love her. Reade, she can’t die!” Patterson wailed. Reade shook he’s head.

“Patterson, she’s alive but barely. She ordered me to protect you, that was the last thing she said to me. To keep you safe. Now stay here, keep pressure on her wound and keep talking to her until paramedics arrive. She’s lost a hell of a lot of blood but she’s a fighter.” Reade barked, barely able to keep his own tears back.

Patterson sank down beside Tasha and cradled her in her arms, weeping over her. “Tasha, Tasha, don’t die. There’s so much I want to tell you. I need you Tasha, I love you. You are everything to me.” Patterson cried and cried as the paramedics arrived and took Tasha to hospital. Patterson refused to leave her side throughout the night as the surgeons operated her and took her into recovery. 

Tasha awoke briefly and through her drug induced eyes she saw Patterson, and felt her hand holding hers, before drifting back into unconsciousness. Patterson was with her at the end she thought. When she awoke again, Reade was by her side. She struggled to sit up. “Where’s Patterson? Did we get Sandstorm?” she asked groggily.

“Weller summoned Patterson back about an hour ago and he’s just ordered me back. You need to rest Tasha, I’ll tell Patterson you’re awake. She’s been refusing to leave your side and will only let the best qualified staff anywhere near you. She’s told them she’ll kill them if they let anything bad happen to you!” Reade laughed.

Tasha smiled, so Patterson really did care about her. God, she hoped she was safe. She couldn’t wait to throw her arms around her and hold her tight. She was going to tell her everything, life was just too damn short she decided.


	9. Chapter 9

Shortly after Reade left, she’d called the office to find out what was happening, and against her doctor’s advice she discharged herself and head back to the office. She couldn’t sit back whilst her team were in danger trying to stop Sandstorm.

Patterson felt aggrieved and being ordered away from Tasha, but knew Weller was right, no one else could do what she did, she had to do what she could to stop Sandstorm carrying out their plan. She had figured out that they were planning to launch a nuclear missile from space and was discussing options with Weller and Reade, and to her disgust, Jane’s torturer from the CIA- Keaton.

Just then, Tasha appeared in front of the group. “Tasha!” Patterson exclaimed. “What the hell are you doing here? You can’t be here!” she added.

Weller’s voice boomed out, “You need to go back to the hospital!”

Reade joined them, “Tasha, you’ve just had surgery, you can’t be here!” 

“Are you done mothering me?” Tasha asked feistily, glaring at Weller and Reade, daring them to send her home. They both knew that would be pointless. Weller ordered Tasha to work with Keaton to find the explosives. Tasha wasn’t happy and made several sarcastic comments. She despised Keaton and the CIA but she obeyed Weller. Her brilliant Patterson was working with NASA to find a way to stop the missile launching.

Whilst Tasha bickered with Keaton, they eventually tracked down the ambulance hiding the nuclear material and directed Jane and Weller to it. Tasha’s neck was throbbing, she was tired and just wanted to curl up with Patterson on the couch.

Patterson’s brain was throbbing from the complex maths and the tension and drama of the whole situation. He space plan was working but needed Weller to find a beacon on Shepherd in the next minute or it was too late. Millions of people would die, including her beloved Tasha. Tasha who should be in the hospital recovering from surgery on a gunshot wound. Tasha who was stubborn as hell but the kindest, bravest person Patterson had ever met – just lots of people didn’t get to see that soft side of her. This had to work so she could tell Tasha how she felt.

A roar suddenly went up in the office as her monitor flashed up saying the missile had connected to the spoof beacon and was heading for the ocean. Patterson was lost for words as she was joined in the office by Tasha and Keaton. As they stood in front of the monitor, listening to the fight between Kurt and Shepherd and Roman and Weller, Tasha slipped her hand into Patterson’s and squeezed. Patterson didn’t look at her, she couldn’t, because she knew she’d break down and cry or even just bend down and kiss her. She just squeezed Tasha’s hand back.

Weller’s voice sounded faint and Jane’s sounded panic-stricken over the comms. Were they about to lose two team members including their leader?

“Jane don’t move. Stay here…with me….I love you” Weller croaked, clearly unaware his comms were open. People started glancing at each other in SIOC and grinning. They had all known the pair had feelings for each other but hadn’t expected a declaration of love in public! The office applauded again, Tasha hugged Reade and then turned to hug Patterson. She hugged her so hard, Patterson found it hard to breathe, but didn’t care. She hugged Tasha back and cried into her hair. Emotion was just overwhelming everyone.


	10. Chapter 10

The team reunited in SIOC and did some paperwork before Weller decided the team were going back to his for drinks. Weller, Reade, Tasha and Patterson were sat around Weller’s table drinking. Jane had to stop by her apartment and hadn’t arrived yet. Tasha and Patterson were next to each other, they kept holding hands under the table, needing to feel each other’s touch but trying to be discreet. They were also struggling to keep their eyes off each other. 

Reade smiled to himself, it was beginning to dawn on him that his best friend, Tasha, had fallen hopelessly in love with Patterson. He was pretty sure Patterson felt the same way but he didn’t say anything.

The door to Weller’s apartment swung open and in walked Jane. Reade, Tasha and Patterson grinned at each other. Tonight was the night. As Weller stepped outside to speak to Jane, the other three decided to make some lame excuses and leave the lovebirds to it. When Weller and Jane walked in, Reade made up an excuse about needing to go see a mate. Tasha claimed Reade was giving her a ride home, and Patterson just laughed and said she was leaving to not be there!

Reade flagged down a taxi for Patterson and Tasha claiming he really did need to go and see a friend. Tasha and Patterson both realised that Reade had figured out their feelings. They climbed into the back seat of the taxi and smiled at each other. They still didn’t need to speak. Tasha leaned against Patterson who put her arm around her. Both women felt completely relaxed, safe, and happy.

They reached Patterson’s apartment and holding hands, Patterson led them in and towards the couch. Tasha smiled back and followed Patterson to the couch. They sat down, body to body again. This time Tasha leaned against Patterson’s chest, Patterson’s arm was protectively around Tasha.

“So, I think I need to tell you why I really yelled at you the other day.” Tasha began.

Patterson nodded, “Only if you want to.”

“Patterson, I feel really bad as the timing sucks. Really sucks, but you deserve the truth. I realised last week when you kissed me that that I cared for you, I liked you, a lot. Like in more than a friends way.” Tasha began, staring at Patterson’s lap. Patterson was rubbing Tasha’s side as she spoke.

“I realised that I like you in a romantic sort of way, and it made me embarrassed, really embarrassed and angry at myself I’d picked such a crap time to realise this. Every time you hugged me or touched me, I just wanted to kiss you and hold you tight but I was so scared, I still am scared of freaking you out and being rejected. When you touched my face I just freaked. I wanted to be in your arms, I wanted you to take the pain away but I couldn’t ask you. Instead I did the stupid thing, I literally pushed you away. I ended up telling Jane and she said she’d noticed signs for months that I liked you a lot. I didn’t realise Patterson I swear, until Jane pointed it out. I…”

Patterson again stopped Tasha’s rambling by putting a finger to Tasha’s lips, but this time instead of saying anything, she lowered her head to Tasha’s and kissed her softly on the lips. 

Tasha melted; Patterson’s lips were so soft, like marshmallow. She looked up into Patterson’s eyes which were locked onto her lips. All Patterson said was, “I love you too.” Before leaning in and kissing Tasha again. The kiss was more urgent this time, Patterson’s tongue pushed against Tasha’s lips, begging them to part so she could slip her tongue in. Tasha obliged and granted Patterson access. Tasha was in heaven, Patterson was kissing her passionately, with an urgency she’d never felt before. 

When they finally stopped for air, their foreheads rested against each other. Patterson spoke again, “I’m sorry Tasha, I didn’t realise until you were in the jail, what my feelings really were. I thought I’d had a silly girl crush on you for ages. It wasn’t until this last week I began to realise it was so much more. I thought I’d lost another person that I loved when you were shot, I was so afraid Tash. I can’t bear the thought of not having you here.” She whispered huskily.

Tasha looked up again and kissed her deeply. Patterson ran her fingers through Tasha’s hair, cradling her skull and bringing her closer to her. Tasha mirrored Patterson’s movements, their tongues were exploring each other’s mouths. Tasha felt like her whole world was spinning before her, but in a good way. In a great way. She was loved. By Patterson. Patterson too felt incredible – her life’s puzzle had just been completed – by Tasha. Her nightmare was over.


End file.
